About a year ago my darling little baby was growing in the nicu. Although feeding was going slow, she was thriving on my breast milk I was so diligently pumping. Let's fast forward to today, as I sit in my child's vomit and cry. I often wonder where did it all go wrong?
I must say Kwashi (as we like to call her) is a tricky one. People don't look at her and think oh there is something, not right. She is a tiny 17 pound one year old that's a decent height and head that is just right. She crawls, started walking, has several words, and commands. She 'seems' happy when new people are around. So what is the problem? Why do I seem like I psychopath that can't leave the house, can't mess with her scheduled, that can't seem to take a shower most days or move on with my life? For any mother that has a special needs child you understand but for us many people don't. You can't see Kwashi's issues. They linger deep inside where no doctor or mother could ever see what is going on.
Kids with GI issues and intestinal allergies are as difficult to deal with as any special needs child. I spend most my day syringe feeding a child formula that she generally refuses. Most solids she gags on, vomits up, or if she will eat it days later she cries to be held all night because well..... She is in pain. And no one can tell me why this is happening. And no one will give her a diagnosis. She doesn't fit FPIES (Food Protein Induced Enterocolitis). She isn't just MSPI (Milk Soy Protein Intolerance). Maybe it's MFPI (Multiple Food Protein Intolerance)? Maybe I am a crazy mother and it is all in my head. Maybe I need to push solids more. Maybe I treat her with kid gloves. Maybe I should try this and that. Or maybe I should just stand on your head and say boo!
Whatever the case maybe I am exhausted. I need an outlet and this will be it. So if you stumble across this journey or if you are a friend of mine checking in. This is the good, the bad, and the ugly.
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